101 Ways to Annoy Umbridge
1. Be Fred or George Weasley
2. Put nifflers in her office
3. Be Harry Potter
4. Tell her that pink is a sissy color
5. Mail her some dragon dung and say it was an early Christmas present
6. When she puts you in detention, hum "One way or another, I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha..." under your breath
7. Tell her that Lord Voldemort's returned
8. Tell her she looks like a toad
9. Suggest that she go to therapy
10. Tell her you've got "Umbridge-itis"
11. Tell her she needs an attitude adjustment
12. Form a secret army right under her nose
13. Whenever she asks you a question, mutter, "Evil hag"
14. Be Albus Dumbledore
15. Whenever you're reading Defensive Magical Theory in her class, ruffle the pages continuously
16. Rip up all her books and throw them all over the place
17. Set off fireworks all around Hogwarts while she's Headmistress
18. Suggest that she start wrestling, as she's got the weight for it
19. Lock her in a broom cupboard
20. Tell her that bow on her head looks like a giant fly and she looks like a giant toad
21. Whenever she tries to say something, pretend to cough "Git"
22. Make Ginny put a Bat-Bogey hex on her
23. Put poison ivy in her shampoo
24. Put her in a clearing full of centaurs
25. Fly a hippogriff through her window
26. Sing "Humpdee Dumpdee" every time you see her
27. Raise your hand during class and ask her whether she's got her warts removed yet
28. Put toads in her desk drawer
29. Bewitch her desk so that whenever she sits in it, it turns upside-down
30. Tell her she's got a bowtruckle in her hair, and watch her run around screaming, trying to get the non-exsistent bowtruckle off her head
31. Whenever you see her and Filch together, make kissing noises
32. Tell her she needs to take a shower
33. Start rolling on the floor laughing for no apparent reason right in front of her class, then when they ask what you're laughing about, point at her
34. Kick her and tell her it was Mrs. Norris
35. Put hot pink dye in her shampoo
36. Make her eat an earwax flavored Bertie Botts Every Flavor Bean
37. Write a fake diary, put it in a pink notebook, write nasty stuff, and say it's her diary
38. Ask her why she is so stupid
39. Give her a card for Christmas that sings "Umbridge is a Warty Git" whenever she opens it
40. Put one of Fred and George's portable swamps in her office
41. When she tells you your homework assignment, mutter, "Why does wittle Umbwridge give us homework?"
42. Attempt to play the bagpipes during her classes
43. Tell her that Filch has a huge crush on her
44. Snicker every time you hear her name
45. Whenever she looks at you as though daring you to annoy her, say "Looking particularly menacing today, are we, Professor? Well, more menacing than a toad could ever look, anyway..."
46. Bug her about her love life
47. Tell her Harry Potter's your hero
48. Ask her why she doesn't just resign in the hopes that the students will stop mocking her
49. Sqawk like a bird in her presence
50. Shave off all her hair while she's sleeping
51. Attempt to cut her fingernails
52. When she tries to talk to you, pull out a Q-tip and clean out your ears
53. Pat her on the shoulder and say, "It's okay. Maybe someday you'll be less ugly than you are now."
54. Stick your tongue out at her
55. Loudly snack on crackers when she's trying to teach
56. Tell her she's a right old loony
57. Tell her she'd make a good house-elf
58. Put itching powder in her socks
59. Suggest that she put a Bubble-Head charm on herself, because you can't stand her horrid breath
60. When you overhear her asking a teacher if she should use Filch to mop the floors, say "Be true to your heart, Professor Umbridge"
61. Mock her high-pitched, girly voice
62. Get stupid songs stuck in her head
63. Buy her an excercise machine
64. Tempt her with a big fly
65. Stare at her constantly
66. Attempt to teach her Latin, and when she doesnt understand what you're doing, mutter "hopeless"
67. Give her lots of action figures of Voldemort
68. Talk constantly about how Gollum is much better animated than Dobby, and ask her opinion
69. Attempt to teach her how to square-dance
70. Tell her that she should meet Peter Pettigrew, and that they'd make a cute couple
71. When her head looks like it's about to explode, say "poof!"
72. Tell her that instead of Yellow Fever, she has Pink Fever
73. Confuse her by telling her you like her half as well as you should like, and you like less than half of her half as well as she deserves
74. Sing "pop goes the weasel" every time she does her little "hem hem"
75. Get her obsessed with Gameboy and then take it away from her
76. Compare her to Britney Spears
77. Giggle every time she criticizes you
78. Tell her Fudge is just using her to get to McGonagall, cause he has a crush on her
79. Ask her if she's half-toad
80. Tell Rita Skeeter she cries every night about how Fudge won't ask her out
81. Tap-dance during classes
82. Refuse to do your homework
83. Have one eyebrow raised during all of her classes
84. Take Polyjuice Potion, pretend to be Draco Malfoy, and tell her that Potter's on the first floor throwing dumgbombs, and when she goes down there, Peeves is waiting and he throws stink pellets at her
85. Tell her to take a nap
86. Tell her that Hagrid could very well be related to her
87. Bewitch snowballs to fly at her head over and over again
88. Copycat her
89. Insist that she eat her vegetables and attempt to stuff an overly large carrot into her mouth
90. Bring fire crabs into her classroom
91. Change the lyrics of "Weasley is our King" to "Umbridge is our Toad"
92. Raid her closet and hang a pair of her pink undergarments on top of the Slytherin House Point hourglass
93. Pass out badges saying "Potter for President"
94. Tell Peeves to give her hell
95. Suggest that she should get braces
96. Go up to her, pinch her cheeks, and say, "There's a good Umbridge"
97. Wail loudly in class about how she won't believe "Voldy" is back
98. Put Veritaserum in her evening pumpkin juice
99. "Forget" to tell her that there is a giant in the forest and lead her there
100. Click your tongue loudly whenever she makes an accusation
101. Spread the rumor that she is going out with Filch